How to Be Present

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Non-presence. It is an epidemic. Sometimes I wonder if being present in a particular moment is even possible. So many thoughts and tasks, ideas and ideals, and cares and concerns pull me away. I am constantly greatly tempted to check email or Facebook or Instagram in the middle of a conversation with someone, while driving, and when I’m trying to enjoy being outside. Why is this? Why am I so distractible and tempted out of the moment? I don’t know why. All I I know is that when I’m not present, I am less grateful, notice less beauty, and feel less peace. When I’m not present, I’m not loving the people in my life well because I’m only giving them a shadow of myself, not my whole self. When I’m not present, I am unlikely to encounter God.

I started doing a couple things this week essentially by accident, but they have really helped me to be more present:

     1.     On my drive to work, I give myself permission to run through all the thoughts that come into my brain. Instead of fighting them off or distracting them with music, which is what I usually do, I let them in and process them. When something I need to do comes to mind, I dictate a note about it into my phone and then move on.

    2.     As I approach people to meet or speak with them, I pray first. Just a simple prayer: “Father, help me be present. Let me see you here.” Realizing God’s presence in every encounter has made each moment alive, full, and surprising.

There are obvious things to do to remain present, like not checking my phone during conversations with people or when I’m seeking time with God. But I need more and so far these two things have been working.

How do you stay present?

Are there things you could do that would help?

How to Quit Stuff

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There are many verses in Scripture that encourage us to stand firm and not give up (Acts 20:24; 1 Corin. 15:58; 1 Corin. 16:13; Gal. 6:9; Eph. 4:1; Heb. 12:1; 2 Peter 1:10), so the idea of quitting seems contrary to how we are to be as followers of Jesus.  But the Scriptures make clear that we are to stay firm in our faith, our calling, and doing good.  I do all kinds of things that do not squarely fall into these categories.  Does that mean I need to quit them?  Bob Goff says he quits something every Thursday; it’s part of his rhythm of life.  I love this idea because I am often overwhelmed by busyness and stretched thin by various demands on my time, sometimes to the point that I cannot manage to take care of basic things in my life.  But I needed to think through how to quit stuff, so I came up with a series of questions to ask and bring to God in prayer to figure out whether a certain activity is something I need to quit.

Does the activity:

  • bring me life or drain me?
  • create space or demand space?
  • refresh or tire me?
  • enable or inhibit my ability to live out my calling?
  • build my faith or undermine it?
  • calm my mind and heart?
  • trigger discontent with my life?
  • lift me up or bring me down?
  • cause me to be more loving or more judgmental?
  • lead me into a particular temptation?
  • make me less or more likely to hear God’s whispers?
  • take time away from a family member or friend who needs me?

Sometimes a “no” to just one of these questions leads me to quit that particular activity.  Sometimes the answer is not that clear, but learning to ask the questions is a game-changer.

Is there something you need to quit?

What other questions would you ask to determine if you need to quit something?

 

How to Find Rest

IMG_0180“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  (Jesus’ words, Matthew 11:27-30)

When I read this, everything in me cries: “Yes!  I want that! But how do I do it?”  Resting is not easy for me.  I have lived most of my life believing one of the greatest fallacies ever conceived – that action and movement are superior to rest.  Rest is built into the way we and everything else was created.  Sleep.  Night.  Fallow fields.  Winter.  To ignore rest is to live in constant battle with the way we were made, like walking uphill, against the wind.  How to rest in our world is tricky.  And somehow, the harder I try, the more difficult it is.  For me, rest comes only when I create an environment that enables rest.

So, here are some things I do to find rest:

Remind myself who I am, a created child of the living God, and who God is, the creator.  Otherwise, I am compelled to think I  hold the world together and without me, things would fall apart.

Recognize that I have limits and that rest is good.  Otherwise, I ignore the need for rest or reject it as a weakness.

Stop doing things that feel like work or make me anxious.  Otherwise, deep breaths don’t come and my mind continues to run.

Do only do those things that give me life.  Otherwise, I will not be filled and restored.

Release my to-do’s and anxious thoughts by briefly writing them down as they come to mind.  Otherwise, these will flood my brain and all hope for rest is lost.

Eat regular meals and favorite foods.  Otherwise, I am distracted by my hunger and my body is uncomfortable.

Surround myself with scents that I only use during times I rest or before I go to bed (black cherry, vanilla, or sun and sand candles; lavender and chamomile lotion).  Otherwise, my body thinks it is time to move, to go, to act.

Wear comfortable clothes.  Otherwise, I am distracted by discomfort.

Exercise.  Otherwise, my body does not know what to do with the energy it produces.

Listen to sounds or music I associate with rest.  Otherwise, noise can clutter my mind and make frantic my thoughts.

Be with people with whom I can be fully authentic and comfortable.  Otherwise, I will be concerned about saying or doing the right thing at the right time.

How do you find rest?