After the shootings in Louisiana, Minnesota, and Dallas this last week and the attack at the Istanbul airport the week before, my soul will not rest, my heart is moving toward despair, and my body actually hurts with the loss of life. I don’t have words, but I have a bunch of questions that I’ve been wrestling with as I’ve listened to the news, read various blog posts, and scanned through social media posts. Here they are:
What does it mean to live in our world today?
What does it mean to be white in the United States? How is the lens through which I see every victim and perpetrator impacting my heart and mind and response?
What does it mean to be black in the United States…and how do I know the answer to that?
Who do I need to sit with and listen to?
What authors do I need to read?
What are the things I want to be right about and why?
What statistics are right? Does it matter?
How am I benefiting from unjust systems, laws, practices, and presumptions?
What do I do with the despair I feel?
What topics, questions, conversations make me afraid? And why?
Who do I want to be wrong and why?
What are all the things that are making me so sad?
What ways of thinking or assumptions need to be renewed, challenged, questioned?
What history am I believing and has this caused me to be biased for or against certain people?
Who will be a light?
What lens am I seeing the world through?
What does love (and not being right, being respected, being loud, being defensive) look like right now?
What is my hope really in? Really.
Do you see us, Lord? Is your heart breaking?
What is mine to do?
How can I be on the side of redemption, restoration, and reconciliation?