What Are You Afraid Of?


Not too long ago, a friend of mine told me over dinner that she was afraid I might try to convert her.  When I asked her why she thought that, she explained that whenever we were together, I seemed at peace, told stories that sounded like miracles, and listened to her without judging.  I asked whether these things seemed inauthentic to her, but she said no, they seemed perfectly authentic.  I was stumped.

“So, you’re worried that if you ‘converted,’ you might be at peace, experience miracles, and be able to listen without judgment?” I asked, smiling.  “Really,” I said, “what are you afraid of?”  She smiled back and we spent the next couple hours talking about her fears, which had at one point been my fears:

  • I’m kind of screwed up and I don’t think I qualify.

  • My friends and family wouldn’t get it.

  • I don’t know enough.

  • I don’t want to give up stuff I love.

  • What if the whole thing is a sham?

  • I don’t really think I need it.

  • Christians I have encountered are hypocrites.

  • I have tried reading the Bible, and I don’t understand most of it.

After this conversation, I realized how important it is to remember that I had these same fears and questions, and I struggled with them.  These fears are real and deeply held because they get to the core of who we are and how we are.  As I look back, becoming a Christian was a little like walking off a 9,000 foot mountain into the sky wondering if the parachute would really work.  I also realized how important it is to be clear about how to respond with love and with truth, but also with the acknowledgment that I don’t have it all figured out, and probably never will in my lifetime.

So, for the next several weeks, I’m going to explore how I respond to these fears and questions, how they manifested themselves in me or in people I’ve talked to, and how to seek God’s guidance in responding with his heart and his words.  I would love for you to join me and to let me know what you’re afraid of or how you respond to these fears and questions.

Published by kellyefabian

Author of Sacred Questions: A Transformative Journey Through the Bible. Follower of Jesus. Mom. Wife. Friend. Pastor. Writer. Scholar. Reader.

2 thoughts on “What Are You Afraid Of?

  1. I am afraid of God leaving me. “For the eyes of The Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.” My relationship with God fluctuates.

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