You’re a Christian…How Are You Different?


“How are you different?” is the second question a friend asked me when we had lunch and I told him I had become a Christian.  (I wrote about the first question he asked – What does it mean to become a Christian? – last week).  This second question is much more difficult to answer and when my friend asked me, I’m not sure what I said, but it was probably something like “I don’t know, I just feel different.”  The reality was that not much changed right away, especially on the outside.  And being a follower of Jesus is much more about “becoming” than it is about simply “being.”  Or at least that has been my story.

The best way I can describe this becoming is to liken it to getting braces on your teeth.  Usually, there is some work that needs to be done on your jaw, the structure of your mouth, or the teeth way in the back before the crooked teeth are straightened or the gap in the front closes.  Only once the jaw is realigned and the teeth way in the back are adjusted, will the beautiful, straight smile be visible.  And the thing is, that structural, jaw realignment work requires pain relievers.  When I had braces, I had to participate in my own torture by attaching rubber bands and strapping on a headgear (at night, thankfully).  If I refused to do these things (and sometimes I just couldn’t), nothing would change.

The day I became a Christian, and for at least a year thereafter, I looked pretty much exactly the same as I did before.  I mean, sure, I knew some more Christian words, read the Bible, and went to church, but I was still very crooked, gap-filled, and misaligned.  But there were some imperceptible, deep, structural adjustments going on.  I became very aware of my own sin.  Things that I previously viewed as being victimless or as acceptable outlets for my own happiness and desires, I came to see were offenses to the one who had hand-crafted me out of love and to fulfill a purpose.  I became aware of how often my actions arose from a seemingly compulsive need I had to fill the growing internal gap between who I wanted to be and who I actually was.   I began to wonder about my purpose and whether it could possibly be to acquire stuff, escape from my life by taking trips, or save for retirement.

My sudden awareness of these things did not change anything, though.  For change to happen, I had to enter into them and participate in the work God was doing in me.  Right at the beginning, there was work to be done:

  • I had to stop doing some things and start doing some other things.  I’m telling you, there were days (and there still are) when not doing certain things felt like torture and something for which I simply did not have the strength.
  • I had to begin to see myself differently – as already loved, instead of someone who could be loved if certain things were true.
  • I had to read Scripture and accept some things about who God is and what Jesus came to earth to do even if I did not know from experience necessarily that they were true.
  • I had to listen more and talk less.
  • I had to ask for help from God even when I wasn’t sure if he was listening to me.

To be clear, just like there were times I did not wear the rubber bands or the headgear, there have been times when I have refused to participate in the work God is doing in me.  But he is patient and keeps giving me grace and strength.  Some days I go backward, some days I make no progress, and some days, I am a conqueror.

So, how am I different?  Well, if you examine me, you’ll still come across crookedness, gaps, and areas of misalignment.  But today I am more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, kinder, more faithful, more self-controlled, and more forbearing than I was before.  (Gal 5:22-24)  Not the most, just more than before.  Not perfect, just better than before.  I am still becoming.

How are you different?

Are there things you need to stop doing or start doing?

Have you been refusing to wear your headgear and rubber bands?

Published by


Author of Sacred Questions: A Transformative Journey Through the Bible. Follower of Jesus. Mom. Wife. Friend. Pastor. Writer. Scholar. Reader.

9 thoughts on “You’re a Christian…How Are You Different?”

  1. When people ask me that same question, “How are you different? What has changed?”, the answer that pops into my head is “Nothing and everything”. I say “nothing” because outwardly, not much has changed to people who know me casually, and even those who know me well could only point to a few visible but modest changes. They know that I now attend church regularly and that I volunteer at the church with youth. They might see that I ‘liked” something on Facebook that has a religious theme, and that I’m listening to Christian music artists. I might talk about biblical topics occasionally in conversations. None of those things are dramatic changes for me, however. I have always volunteered with youth, I’ve always listened to a wide range of music, and I spent 7 years researching religion, history, and Christianity before I took the step of becoming a Christian. Although some of these things are new, the changes have been subtle and gradual, and not a dramatic change from who I was outwardly before becoming a Christian.

    At the same time, EVERYTHING has changed! Inside, I am not the same person that I was at all. Instead of using an analogy of teeth and braces, I liken my change more to having eye surgery to remove cataracts. I had no idea how clouded my vision was until I could see more clearly (still not 20/20 vision, but at least far better). The lens with which I view the world gives me a completely different perspective. I see beauty in far more people and places than I did before, but I also see dirt and sin in far more places than I did before, including within myself. Sometimes the sheer brightness and light around me can be overwhelming, as my senses become adjusted to this heightened level of input. Sometimes the things I see now are unsettling, whereas before I was blissfully unaware. Seeing more clearly doesn’t make things easier; in fact, in many ways it is more challenging. I can see all too clearly now just how far my journey is going to be, how little progress I’ve made, and the hurdles that are in my path. At the same time, it’s a GOOD challenge, and even though the progress is ever so slow, I’m excited to be on the journey. I wish I could say that sometimes I move forward and sometimes I might step back before I move forwards again, but it’s not as linear at that. I often find myself wandering in circles before getting back on track, sort of like the old Family Circus comic strips.

    Perhaps someday my answer to the “How have you changed?” question will be different. Even better, I look forward to the day when it is not necessary for someone to ask me, because the changes will be so apparent that they need not ask. Until that day comes, though, I continue on my journey, savoring the beautiful views, pushing on when I’m tired or in pain, and stopping to smell the roses and make friends along the way.

  2. Kellye,this is an excellent explanation and metaphor. I can see you growing and changing each time I see you. Big hug!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s